Arizona Family Photographer: How to Get Dad on Board with a Family Photo Session

Can we be honest with each other… I don’t know if I’ve ever met a man who is EXCITED about having his picture taken. I take that back, yes there is the rare unicorn of a man out there who is totally on board but I would dare say the majority don’t want to get on the ship with you. Most of the time Dads don’t see why its necessary, they would rather spend their time and money elsewhere (or not at all), they don’t like how stressed their wives get about every single detail beforehand, they think its a waste of time, and it’s definitely not something they would call “fun.”

Even me as a photographer, who makes my living from clients like you, when it came time for me to do my OWN family session with my husband and kids… don’t think I didn’t hear groans about money, and time, and importance and blah, blah, blah! Ironic isn’t it??

I know that both you AND your man’s attitude determines so much about how a session goes. The kids notice, I notice, its noticeable in the poses and the lack of connection, its noticed in their eyes and the way that muscle twitches at the corners of his mouth. Turns out “resting dad face” is pretty evident in photos! So today I’m going to share with you some tips on how to get Dad on board with your family photo session.

1. Listen to Him

Let’s think about all the reasons Dads might be grumpy about having their pictures taken. Maybe they had a drill sergeant of a photographer at their wedding, maybe a session with an unorganized photographer, maybe someone didn’t share all the fees involved upfront, or maybe the kids were in meltdown mode and the photographer didn’t know how to handle them. Those are all very valid reasons and we shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss them.

So instead of forcing your “loving” will on him, sit with him and listen to his concerns. Maybe the two of you need to come up with some ground rules to hiring a photographer; price limit, time limit (mini session vs full session), location radius (sometimes driving too far is enough to send the kids off the deep end). All of these are all things that aren’t deal breakers! And most photographers…including and especially me…are willing to work with you to make sure all parties feel comfortable.

2. Communicate Expectations

Now that you’ve let Dad know that you’ve heard him, now he should be more likely to listen to you! So here’s what I want you to do… take the time to tell Dad what to expect BECAUSE it helps them to handle the whole entire process better. . Here are some things to mention:

Wardrobe: You will ask his opinion on outfits, but you promise to narrow it down to no more than 2 options. You will not overwhelm him with any more than that.

Grumpy Mom: Dad’s aren’t the only ones who get grumpy before a family photo shoot. It’s just that mom’s are willing to swallow their grumpiness because they know the importance of getting the job done. Explain to him that the day of the session, you will probably be feeling insecure, nervous, and a little stressed because you haven’t been in front of a camera in awhile and you don’t like ______________ about yourself, so now is not the time for HIM to get mad and grumpy at you for planning this in the first place.

Emotional Kids: Tell Dad to just expect right now that the kids will cry a time or two. Lower behavior expectations now and don’t be disappointed later. (Note: it doesn’t always happen but a good photographer should be able to deal with that scenario should it arise. Here is a blog post detailing how I like to work with kiddos during my photo sessions.) Plus, if you don’t normally bribe your children, now is great time to let him know that it may happen….

Day of Help Plan: Explain to him that getting kids ready for a photo shoot is NOT easy and you are going to need his help by doing XYZ. Whether it’s helping get them bathed and dressed or packing up the car with snacks / extra outfits / movies etc.

3. Get Him Involved

Here are 2 different ways to the Dad in your family involved in your family photo session.

1. Before the Session: First share with him your “WHY” of wanting family photos. And “we need a Christmas card photo” doesn’t count! Are you recording growth or capturing a milestone or putting treasures away for your family legacy? All of those things are incredibly good reasons, share them with him. Tell him why you’re picking ME as your photographer. Have him sit down and look at my website or scroll through my Instagram (I’m very engaging you know;). And when it comes time to fill out the family questionnaire I send to all my clients, let him help you (as him to) so that you are both on the same page from the get go.

2. During the Session: Posed pictures can be so stale for everyone involved. Nothing says blah like stand there like a statue and fake smile. Sure you need a few of the more posed pics to give to Grandma and Grandpa for their walls but after that let’s get outside the box. What are Dads good at? They are master ticklers, chasers, treasure hunters, sneaker uppers, cuddlers, huggers, eskimo kissers, and on and on! These are sure fire ways to not only NOT get stale photos but to capture Dad in his natural element…being the playful, fun loving man that you all love!

So there you have it ladies! I know how important these family photos are to you, and in time he’ll see that too. But right now, on top of everything else you are already doing to get that beautiful legacy of yours recorded, you’ll need to take a little extra time with Dad to help him see that not only does he NEED this but that he WANTS family photos as much as you do.

Arizona Family Photographer | Shannon Ly Photography

click here to see more photos of NON-Grumpy Dads!